bored...

finally trial exam is over....
exam make me very tired...
every night dint sleep well....
i knw this trial exam is very important...
but i dint confident that i can get good result...
when exam my mind was blur...
fist time like this...
haiz...
feel that my scholarship is more far far away from me.....
really hope such thing wont happen...

i can say NO to FB...
bt i wont say NO to my blog....
i don't feel like to log in my fb....
nothing to do.....
just waste my time..
sometimes some more will make no mood....
so i wont do such thing to hurt myself....
friends,u knw that i wont log in my fb until my SPM...
so don't try any way to let me log in...

today dint go to school...
stay at house really very boring....
don't know should do what...
from last night until nw...
very bored....
don't feel like to study because exam just over...
i want relax 3 or 4 day first...
so just nw morning went market with my mum...
come back sleep again...
because nothing to do so just sleep...
don't feel like to online...
everyday just sleep,eat n online...
i don't like such life, very bored...
that why i want January further my studies...
because i don't want after SPM my life become like this...
i sure will bored until crazy...
luckily mum understand me...
so tomorrow go shopping...
yeah, i love shopping...

mum n dad,
i know both of u sure will let me go KL further my studies...
n u prefer me go on March...
but can let me go on January...
i have my reasons...
stay at here will me more suffer n more sad...
i want leave here as fast as possible...
u worry me in many aspect...
i also cant promise that i wont make u worry me...
i dint have confidence
they r so success...
everyone is proud of them...
yes, i cant like them be doctor, lawyer or engineering...
but i want be like them so success in their job...
i don't knw y they can be so success...
if got the chance to learn from them...great...
i don't like look down on me....

theng, that day u asked whether i m not willing or that is true...
at that time i cant answer u...
nw i can say at that moment my mind was nt willing...
bt nw is true....
before that my blog always talk about this fellow...
i don't feel like to talk about this fellow at my blog any more...
i worry this fellow will not happy...
i want this fellow be happy...
sorry,if before that my action make this fellow unhappy...

great surprise....

today is a happy day....
in the morning, i was tired n a bit sad....
because i not yet receive ur message...
after came back from tuition...
rest for awhile....
yeah, finally ming n chen come to my house....
thanks to them for their helping....
after that we went out to met other friends to celebrate my birthday....

thanks to all my lovely friends n those who had wish me....
i dint expect any present from u guys....
i must say u all very clever "cheat" me n my tear....
my tear is very valuable...jk
never think that i will cry in front of u all...
shy oh...
yes, as u said...
this is my most memorable birthday party....
i felt touch
chen, thanks for ur jelly n ur "heart"
ming,chen,mooi,xuan,ban,hooi,panda,hong n por....
really thank you...
although our trial is coming soon....
but u still spent ur time to enjoy with me n make surprise for me...

J,i must thanks to u...
i know i had said so much thanks to u...
but i have to do so....
i was a bit disappointed that u cant attend my birthday party...
but u "appear" for awhile....
n i felt happy n touch for ur surprise...
never think that u will do so....
not just thanks for ur surprise....
i also want thanks that u still remember my birthday...
compare to the clothes that u gave me before....
this surprise given by u is the more valuable n memorable..jkjk^^
don't be worry....
i wont think so much n will always be happy....
after today i will concentrate study n get good result
i wont make u all disappointed....
good luck for ur exam...
n PLS take care ur health...
just nw when make a wish....
i dint make wish for myself....
i made a wish for u.....
don't think i m stupid...
because i knew as long as u happy then i will happy....
yes, my dream is very important...
but ur happiness is more important....
my dream wont be true also never mind as long as u feel happy....
don't misunderstand that i think too much....
i dint...

lastly thanks so much to my lovely friends....
don't compare the present...
all the presents are very valuable n memorable for me....
i will appreciate it so much....
i don't want any bald old guy...
i just want my friends...
friend forever...
i love u all....^^
happy birthday to myself.....

Truth...

this few days my body was not feeling well...
but i have to go school...
because need to settle some important thing....
nw i am really really very tired....
not just my body....
my heart too...
i feel angry n sad...
u open ur mouth n blame me without investigate the problem.....
i wont explain to u what is the truth...
i explain to u 100times also useless...
u can do so...
so for u my explanation just is a lie...
so i wont explain...
i never said a word...
but u use such word attack me...
i wont feel scare of u...
i just will ignore u...
yes, i care, i feel tired n feel want to cry...
but before that i had told myself i don't want be a girl that always cry anymore...
crying just will make me become weak...
i don't want look weak...


other people misunderstand me or blame me....
if i really dint do then i wont care...
u can open ur mouth n tell 100 peoples that i am wrong...
i will ignore u...
i believe if i dint do then i no need scare...
n i know God will know whether i have do wrong or nt...
if i really wrong then i will admit n say sorry....
although i feel tired but i wont 'take a break'....
i wont gives up....

improve in every aspect....

long time dint updates my blog...
because of busy study...
everyday wake up 4am to study n sleep at 10pm....
everyday repeat the same thing include weekend...
study,study,study n study....
i really feel tired...
sometimes felt want want to gives up...
but i can't do so...
just suffer for few more month...
so cannot gives up.....

just morning played badminton with my lovely friends....
long time dint do some exercise le
yes, i admit my skill is very bad...
not pro as u guys....
i also hope my skill as good as u guys...
so i always try my best to played....
but i still dint feel happy with my performance...
hope u guys can forgive my mistake
haiz...

8/8 to 9/8
a short holiday at star cruises....
that is a nice holiday...
i was very happy....
very enjoyable n relax....
i like the moment when together with my family...
really feel warm....
me n my cousin wake up early waiting for the sunrise....
but our luck was not so good...
that night was raining...
so can't see clearly...
this is a good chance...
but we dint have that luck....
the moment at the cruises is very nice...
i like that type of life....
no need worry every thing....
just relax n enjoy the happy life....
we also took a lot of photos....
all the photos are nice because of that camera...
thanks to my cousin...
luckily she brought that camera...^^
that camera....
haiz...
friends,u know y i say haiz le....
before i bought my new camera....
i had told u guys that i want that camera n hope i can get it....
but never mind....
i still young...
i sure can get it....

quarrel so many times with parent because of the driving license...
i use the technique that was very childish...
but the 'childish technique' is work....
haha....
i know i should not do so....
but i dint have idea....
sorry to my dad...
finally they agree...
the 'journey' is just started...
last Wednesday attended the undang seminar with wooi hong....
this week will go for the computer test...
hope i can get my driving license before my spm....
all my lovely friends already get their driving license except me...
because i m the youngest among them...
i like the moment when together with them...
sometimes want follow them go enjoy lunch also can't...
because i can't go back home....
haiz....
in few more month we will graduate ....
so i want spend more time with them....

Wednesday i dint go to school because i went for the undang seminar...
don't know what have going on...
when Thursday n Friday....
they always wish me happy birthday...
or ask me izit is my birthday....
i was shock....
my birthday still have two more week oh....
really speechless....

i always improve myself....
no matter is outlook or personality....
i don't know whether i has change or not...
but i hope so...
i knew attitude is not so easy to change or improve
n also takes time...
but i wont gives up....
i will continue improve myself....
your advice n words are always in my mind....

i like Sunday....
actually is i like the 3 hours at Erican centre....
after change teacher....
i like the oral time....
the new teacher more focus on our talking....
he always talk with us....
always let us talk....
but not talk for nothing....
we talk in English...
by this way our English only will improve.....
that why i like the oral time....
because i can train myself talk in English with other people...
teacher told us....
if u dint talk,u will go towards the English...
when u talk, the English will go to u....
yes, i agree what the teacher said....
after i train so many time....
i feel that my speaking has improve....
but is not enough....
still have so many space for me to improve....
i know my English still is broken English....
i will improve...
when i m speak,may be other people will laugh at me...
but by this way i can learn from my mistake n improve....
may be i need more confidence...

study hard.....

yesterday teacher told us a bad news....
trial exam will be on August....
what!!!!
actually is at September....
don't know what is the reasons.....
haiz....
when i heard this bad news, my eyes was wet...
felt want to cry....
because i not yet prepare well....
for me trial exam is more important than SPM...
because i need that result to apply scholarship...

after think a whole day....
i have a made a decision....
everyday must study....
hard work is the key of success
i have plan a study timetable le oh....
so i will less on9....

one is better than two....
i like the moment when together with friends....
about love....
now is not the suitable time....
just will effect my studies...
n make me cant concentrate....
so temporary say NO to LOVE....
J,i just want say Ti Amero to u....
i know u will understand what i m talking about....
this time may be will be the last time i say that....
that is right.....
this decision will be good to me....
i know i have made the right decision...
yeah.....^^
good luck to myself....

CONCENTRATE STUDY!!!!
TRIAL AND SPM!!!!!!!!!
LESS ONLINE!!!!

stress....

finally i get a chance to updates my blog....
because my exam just over....
actually this few days i want updates my blog....
my mood very down....
but bust prepared for my exam.......
i think i wont get good result.....
because i dint prepare well, when exam also cant concentrate...
haiz....
yesterday having a progressive test at erican.....
i like the test especially the oral test....
but derrick pity oh.....
during the oral test i ask him "stupid" questions....
he was shocked...
he looked at me with his big eyes.....
haha....^^
the time past so fast....
stage 3 is over le...
next lesson is stage 4....
that mean i almost complete my level 4 le.....
that time i also need to say bye bye to erican
but my new life is coming soon....


last friday ah hooi told me about The Sims 3.....
that is my favourite game.......
i love it so much.....
i play that game start from primary school...
but i stopped playing at form 3......
why i have to do so....
because that game is just like my drug....
if that time i dint do so for sure now my result very suck...
yes, i can wait....
wait more 5 months my drug is coming back....
haha...
after SPM i want buy original to install.......
hope in future i can get more The Sims n keep as my collection....


this few days i always think about one thing...
although my face look happy....
but my heart was so blur.....
at first i want say clearly...
i dont have BF....
before that at fb i change my relationship status is because some reasons.....
after i break with u....
i feel that i change a lots....
i dint 100% believe anyone....
sometimes include my family....
i dont want get hurt anymore....
so i choose to believe myself...
before that i believe u any things.....
believe that u wont like other guys hurt me...
but at the end the ending still is the same...
but i never regret...
i still believe u are a good guy...
i dont know what reason make me think that....
thousand of thanks to u....
u let me grow up....
i remember what u said...
ur words always remind me dont repeat the same mistake anymore....
so i will continue grow up...
when together with u, i learn so many things from u....
after break with u, i learn so many lessons from our love....
i know time cant return...
so i dint hope any thing...
just want to say thanks to u....
u made my life full of colour....
our story already past....
i wont turn back i just will look forward....
as u said appreciate what i have now....


突然用华语表达是因为知道你看不懂
所以才故意这么做
我恢复了，可以开开心心过我的生活
但并不代表我放得下你
在我的心里还有你
并不打算把你消除
在未来的日子里你在我心中的地位只会越变越小
但不会消失
一年多的感情不是说要放就放
因为你是第一位让我真的爱上你的人
你是对的人
我相信我是在错的时间遇见对的人
考试前一个星期非常开心
因为和你在fb聊也和你sms
还记得当晚我熬夜做功课
已经很夜了还能和你聊天
真的很开心
感觉当晚好像回到以前
以前我们常常在深夜里聊天
聊到累了就睡得很甜
很久没有那种感觉
就知因为和聊天我就可以非常开心
太天真了吧！
但如果可以保留那天真有多好
我对你还有感觉
但对我而言并不是好事
继续这样只会折磨自己
我会慢慢改变但不是现在
何时呢？
第二个你出现时一切才会变
而第二个你是那可以让我信任和爱他人
几时会出现？会是个怎样的人？我也不知道
我对someone的感觉是怎样
有时候就连我自己也会模糊
他对我的好让我感动和动心
一切顺其自然吧
我会试放下一切，我还需要时间
我们还年轻，慢慢来吧
我不想再重犯同样的错误，不想再受伤害


exam is over le.....
but i still need to do n worry so many things....
especially the camp that make me headache....
haiz....
hope i can handle n settle very well....

shit!!!!!!!

i must get my driving licence in this year....
i want go any where also need to beg them....
sometimes just want go buy some bread or stationery also want beg them....
i hate this feeling!!!!!!!!!
i HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't want beg anyone any more......
i really don't like.....

last night headache n sore throat...
so sleep early....
but before sleep someone make me angry...
that someone dint realize i was angry....
"y should i tell u?"
i don't like this sentence....
when i am serious, pls don't say such sentence to me.....
but last night i angry not because of this....
some thing more worse....
just a word 'sorry' want me forgive u
is so funny....
i need time to cool down....
so at night i will updates my blog...