complicated...

i passed my car test n get my license le....
is a good news...
happy?
yes,i just happy for few minutes....
because i realize something....
what is that?
that is a secret...
i also dint tell anyone...
i cant tell anyone....
also because i dint tell anyone so i m sad for few days....
first time have such feeling...
very special n complicated...
hard to describe....
haiz.....


my parent had made a decision for me....
but i was disappointed with the decision...
can i reject them...
they don't allow me to go KL study on January....
they said i must wait until April...
i really don't like this decision
but what can i do....
i have to follow what they said...
if not i really will loss the chance go to that college study....
ok,i wait....
mum want me go Singapore...
i knw what is she thinking about...
hope xuan can go....


nw i m very tired
just came back from 2 seminal
my heart also tired....
this few day when i was sad, i don't feel like to talk with anyone...
very stress...
SPM is just around the corner....
my preparation not yet well...
haiz...
very worry...
dreaming also dream about exam....
haiz....

sushi sushi....

nw i m very blur...
my feeling is very complicated n blur....
what is going with me....
i feel want to cry....
i knw my mood down because of the same reason with yesterday....
i still cant use to it....
is great has the opportunity to meet with them
but if dint meet them...
no need separate...
n i wont feel sad....
i knw i should feel lucky meet with them...
i also should appreciate...
bt knw i really cant cool down...
i need help...
just nw i want tell xuan about this...
i hope she can cheer me up
but just nw i saw her...
i dint have that feeling...
bt when i m alone...
i m very not ok....
haiz...

just nw evening went to sushi king with xuan,xuan's sister,hong n yu
just nw also went to sushi king with family
my tea time n dinner time also at there....
when c the sushi, feel hate oh...
so i just ate a bit.....
don't feel like to talk any more....

no ending...

just now went to driving practical...
while waiting for go back home, i think a lot of things.....
until now i still thinking...
so now i m a bit down....
may be for those who are working think that is a small case...
i believe everyone also will face it in one day...
but i m still a kid...
i just starting exposed to such thing...
so is still 'fresh' n make me down...
so many peoples come to my life n good to me...
but just for temporary...
they have to leave me...
when close to them or have fun with them....
the happiness will come to the end n they left me...
especially this year, i always face such kind of thing...
i very not willing to separate with them
there are a lot of memories between us...
so i feel sad....
one of the example....
last Sunday is last time went to Erican language centre...
my SPM is around the corner so i have to stop...
n i wont go there anymore...
the moment when i left, i felt like to cry but i dint do so...
there are the friendship between us...
memories n happiness with teacher n friends...
i will miss them...
haiz...
next week n this month end also will have some peoples are good to me will leave me....
i have no choices...
they also same....
i hope the time stop for few minutes or past slowly....
is just a wish...
i always appreciate the moment when together with them....
my mind always remind me what u had told me before that...
always appreciate what u have....
if every thing wont come to the end or have happy ending....
i will be very happy....
separate with them make me feel that every thing is end...
no more contact with them....
yes,i can sms or online chat with them...
but that are some reasons stop me to do so...
one of the reason is some of them are older than me ....
some of them are really old, everyone also call them UNCLE...
uncle dint on9 n sms is not easy for them...
still have other reasons...
haiz....
no ending in my life is perfect...

sad........

today went to school was very bored....
also made me sad....
some of my result is getting more worse n worse....
i felt very disappointed n sad....
don't feel like to cry...
just don't want talk....
but i dint do it in front of my friends....
i should be happy in front of them....
so i just keep my feeling until nw....
haiz.....
everyone told me that still have SPM so dont gives up...
i knw n i wont gives up....
bt i hope someone can score me n wake me up....
i wish nw i can talk with u.......
i knw ur words will wake me up...
this is just a wish....
n i wont do so....
one person unhappy is better than 2 person unhappy....
i will study hard....
i wont let my dream control me n my life...
i will control my dream.....
the feeling is hard to describe....
dont feel like to talk...
night...

love shopping

yesterday was a happy day....
no need wake up early to study...
so relax....
always laugh because the show very funny....
afternoon went shopping...
it was my lovely time....
mum bought a platinum necklace for me....
this was mum second time bought necklace for me...
my first necklace was broken n missing because of my careless
first time mum bought necklace when i was form 2
at that time i still don't know the price of necklace...
so i was thought around RM2XX++
until yesterday i only knw that the price is triple with what i thought...
at that time i was shock...
i felt sorry for my careless...
but mum still bought for me....
that idiot said gold is more valuable...
i knw gold is more valuable...
n the price will rise in future....
but nw i m too young...
gold is not suitable for my age...

after that went to eat ikan bakar....
woo...love it so much....
when exam, i always kacau my mum that i want eat ikan bakar n tomyam...
but that time i was exam...
worry when exam i will stomachache...
finally i got it....
so full....

my happy n enjoyable moment not yet come to the end...
went to gurney shopping....
they know i don't like go queensbay mall so went to gurney...
the happy moment was just began...
went to the Korean food fair n bought a lot of food.....
before that i worked at Korean restaurant....
so i get addicted with Korean food...
especially Kim chi soup...
mum also bought a dress for me....
uncle said yesterday i was so lucky....
not yet exam already get present...
yes, i felt happy n lucky....
one day before exam i also went shopping with my family...
mum also bought a dress for me...
i really love that dress...
i look for the dress so long...
finally i get it....
nowadays i always buy dress....
because i love it n will make me confident.....
mum,thousand of thanks to u...
u bought me a lot of things....

just now morning was oral test...
also can say as presentation....
i was not so happy with my performance....
it was just ok...
i think last time is better.....
i will improve n make it perfect....
haiz....

bored...

finally trial exam is over....
exam make me very tired...
every night dint sleep well....
i knw this trial exam is very important...
but i dint confident that i can get good result...
when exam my mind was blur...
fist time like this...
haiz...
feel that my scholarship is more far far away from me.....
really hope such thing wont happen...

i can say NO to FB...
bt i wont say NO to my blog....
i don't feel like to log in my fb....
nothing to do.....
just waste my time..
sometimes some more will make no mood....
so i wont do such thing to hurt myself....
friends,u knw that i wont log in my fb until my SPM...
so don't try any way to let me log in...

today dint go to school...
stay at house really very boring....
don't know should do what...
from last night until nw...
very bored....
don't feel like to study because exam just over...
i want relax 3 or 4 day first...
so just nw morning went market with my mum...
come back sleep again...
because nothing to do so just sleep...
don't feel like to online...
everyday just sleep,eat n online...
i don't like such life, very bored...
that why i want January further my studies...
because i don't want after SPM my life become like this...
i sure will bored until crazy...
luckily mum understand me...
so tomorrow go shopping...
yeah, i love shopping...

mum n dad,
i know both of u sure will let me go KL further my studies...
n u prefer me go on March...
but can let me go on January...
i have my reasons...
stay at here will me more suffer n more sad...
i want leave here as fast as possible...
u worry me in many aspect...
i also cant promise that i wont make u worry me...
i dint have confidence
they r so success...
everyone is proud of them...
yes, i cant like them be doctor, lawyer or engineering...
but i want be like them so success in their job...
i don't knw y they can be so success...
if got the chance to learn from them...great...
i don't like look down on me....

theng, that day u asked whether i m not willing or that is true...
at that time i cant answer u...
nw i can say at that moment my mind was nt willing...
bt nw is true....
before that my blog always talk about this fellow...
i don't feel like to talk about this fellow at my blog any more...
i worry this fellow will not happy...
i want this fellow be happy...
sorry,if before that my action make this fellow unhappy...